Here’s a little secret. I’m a card carrying member of the Big Head Crew. That’s a made up Crew. However, if there were a Big Head Crew I’d be in it. I might even be Chairman of the Board. How would you join such a crew? It is sort of like owning oceanfront property in the Hamptons, certain bloodlines are required. You either have it, or you don’t. If you’re not born with it you’ll never get it, unless you win American Idol then you might be lucky enough to secure one, a place in the Hamptons that is.
I have lineage. The exact lineage that makes a baseball hat my nemesis. Hats generally give me headaches. My grandfather could have been a founding member of the Crew. My father would have had a card. My brother would have a card. My offspring would be honorary members. I’m pretty sure you’d need to be 18 to join the Crew, maybe 21. They’d be waiting, longing to join the club.
My son would be in the midst of being actively recruited. His wild, blonde curls only accentuate his glory.
***”Head, pants, now” is my favorite line from So, I Married an Axe Murderer, a Mike Myers movie that still holds up.